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Readers who have stopped doing things you thought you “should”: What advice would you give on how to give less f*cks? A reader started an interesting thread a few months ago by saying she was “Looking for ‘f it’ attitude things,” and there were some really great answers, so let’s talk about it today!
Editor’s Note: I think it would physically pain me not to point out that we’re aware “how to give fewer f*cks” would be the grammatically correct phrase — but that would sound silly. /nitpicking
Lots of women say that reaching their 40s (or thereabouts) helped them developed a general “f*ck it” attitude. (See the poem “Warning” by Jenny Joseph — you know, the classic purple + red hats one.) Becoming a parent can also help — and it starts during labor and childbirth, when your inhibitions quickly go out the window.
One light and silly example: As a 40-something, I really do not care if random people think it’s odd that I’m middle-aged and sometimes wear Hello Kitty shirts or earrings. (Come on, she’s just so cute!) That isn’t to say that I entirely left behind any self-consciousness when I bid farewell to my 30s, because, no — but I care less about a lot of things.
{related: do you have a new “beauty minimum”? [CorporetteMoms]}
The pandemic and resulting pivot to remote work also made a big impact on many women’s ideas of how they “should” look and dress. Remember all those articles declaring “Women have stopped wearing bras!” and “Women have stopped wearing high heels!”? We did a post on this in mid-2020, in fact — and readers also shared their thoughts on it in this comment thread from 2021.
Along those lines, here’s a sampling of things readers mentioned in the more recent thread that they no longer do — or have never done:
- Social stuff: Finding the “perfect” gift, saying yes to social events you don’t want to attend, holding on to unwanted gifts rather than regifting/donating
- Appearance stuff: Caring about your weight, covering grays, removing body hair, wearing expensive clothes/makeup, wearing a coverup at the beach
- Work stuff: Baking/cooking for office potlucks, working late or on weekends if not necessary
- Home stuff: Going all-out for holidays, making your home pristine before hosting
Of course, some people love to do many of these things (I really enjoy finding the perfect gift and decorating a lot for holidays, for example), while others prefer to kick ’em to the curb.
{related: do, delegate, NOPE: holiday edition [CorporetteMoms]}
So, readers, do tell: What do you say “f*ck it!” to? What things did you used to find important (or think you should find important) but now couldn’t care less about? Which of the habits in the bulleted list have you ditched — or love to do?