This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
I saw this interesting TikTok on how to make men take you seriously from Katie Tucci (@kaytuc) the other day and thought it might make a good discussion here. (Here’s a Buzzfeed article summarizing it.) Obviously sexism at the office is a lot better than it once was, but do you still feel like women need to act in specific ways (or avoid acting in specific ways) in order to be taken seriously by men? What are your best tips on how to make men take you seriously?
She’s a new lawyer — and a former paralegal — and has a few rules for how she interacts with men in the workplace, including a firm handshake, only introducing herself by her first and last name, and only speaking in declarative phrases when possible so as not to sound unsure. She also notes that she never smiles, ever. She also tries
to be the one initiating whatever we’re doing next, whether it’s standing up to move and end the meeting, whether it’s shaking hands at the door to say goodbye, and whether it’s moving someone from one space to another. I’m the one who starts doing it to get everyone else to follow me.
I thought a lot of it was good advice for how to behave in a business context, although I don’t know that I’d be as stringent as she is with the rules.
I did raise my eyebrows at one part, though, at least if her advice is for junior lawyers: she will refuse to deal further with someone who calls her “honey” or “sweetheart.”
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying, ‘You know, I really don’t think you are interested in engaging in this meeting with me in good faith. So I’m going to have to continue to use my time elsewhere.’ This is the most important part. You cannot let them get away with that. Do not accept an apology. Do not normalize it. Do not nod your head and smile. I know it’s incredibly uncomfortable. I know it’s incredibly terrifying. And honestly this took me years to feel comfortable doing. You stand your ground, you look them in the eye, and you say, ‘My name is not sweetheart. I need you to provide me with the contact information of someone who is not you who also works on this case so I can communicate with them.’ And then you walk away.
I mean, way to assert yourself! But I can see this being problematic in a case where you’re a junior lawyer, whether you’re saying this to someone employed by the client, the opposing party, or co-counsel… but I’d love to hear what you guys think.
Readers, what are your thoughts, both on the advice in general, as well as on her advice on what to do if someone calls you sweetheart? (How would you advise someone to deal with that situation?) Do you have any other tips you’d like to add?
Stock photo via Deposit Photos / Krakenimages.com.