This week on the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, one of our ladies will be a vacation crasher. Lisa will also lose a precious and very expensive piece of jewelry. Let us crash their Barbie-pink confection of a vacation, shall we?
Meredith and Lisa are meeting up for a walk — but only Lisa looks like she is wearing walking shoes and proper athleisure wear. She assures Lisa she can walk in her heeled boots, satin pants, and Cookie Monster jacket. Come on, Mer, how gauche! Meredith begins by telling Lisa they both made mistakes and said some things that were unkind. Lisa admits her hot-mic moment was not her proudest moment but most honest, but she is willing to let down her guard for people in this order: signed an NDA, John, lawyers with a retainer — and Meredith while wearing horse blinders. They hug it out, so we will see if these two former besties can play nicely with each other.
Heather is meeting Whitney at the hot springs, and Heather is drinking the water like it is buttered popcorn flavor. Whitney wants to know why Angie was at the last get-together. Heather feels like Angie is a flip-flopper by befriending Lisa, which irks Heather. Lisa told the other ladies not to tell Heather about Jack going on his mission. Heather does not see Lisa as a true Mormon with her drinking and how she lives her life. Whitney has concluded that Heather should not be involving herself in Jack’s religious choices, especially since she wrote a book called Bad Mormon! Side note: I am not body-shaming Heather, but I would never film a bathing suit scene next to Whitney while I am slurping popcorn water!
Meredith shares that she and Seth have been spending more time together and working on taint play in the tub. She admits they have had challenges over the last 30 years. Meredith and Seth have decided to do a podcast on relationships, and I just got annoyed with this revelation. R.I.P. RB podcast… She shares that she has been invited by a Drag Queen named Trixie Mattel to her motel/hotel in Palm Springs, and she sees it as an opportunity to have a girls’ trip.
Angie’s poodle Celia has a hot pink tail, paws, and ears. Who would do that to their poor dog? She admits she fell in love with her handsome husband Shawn when he styled her hair. Angie picked a good one since that would be awesome to have someone to do your hair at your beck and call. They now own 12 salons and are happy with their daughter, Elektra. Angie has known Heather since high school, and you can tell already that they have a different perception of their past relationship. She believes that Heather has changed since she joined this show and got a bigger head figuratively and literally over the years.
Monica and her mom Linda are chatting while they are making swaddles for her Brea Baby line. She was raised in the Mormon church, but she struggles with the rules of the church. Monica asks her mom for help when she goes on her girls’ trip to Palm Springs. Linda is not too excited to have this responsibility when she has four kids. Monica believes that she is out of this group’s league, and she bought a Louis Vuitton bag so she can fit in. She needs to fake it until she makes it just like the other women do! Monica has no memory of her dad, who left home when she was young for a male lover. Side note: It is refreshing for a Housewife to admit they cannot compete with the other ladies and their supposed riches.
Whitney, Justin, Angie, and John are having dinner together, and it seems like this scene will be a snooze fest. Angie mentions that her 11-year-old daughter and their dog sleep with them. She is in pain from the snowball fight, and we get a replay of the scene, which is rather funny. Whitney mentions the desert trip, and Angie lets her know that she was not invited by Meredith. She is bothered that the theme of this event is about team building and now they are excluding someone. Whitney wants Angie to be her plus one, so you know this is going to be a point of contention with Heather and Meredith.
Monica is meeting Heather to buy some clothes for their trip. Heather is telling Monica that she is happy that Angie is not invited to Palm Springs. Heather finds Angie to be chatty and jealous. Projecting much, dear Heather? Heather finds what Angie said about her and Jen to be so egregious that she cannot trust her. Barbie scissor-kicks, really? They agree that it is best that you do not want to assume she is guilty by association especially since Monica has already let us know she was Jen’s assistant. Monica then proudly shares that she was f*cking her brother-in-law for 18 months and was excommunicated. She was shunned by everyone and had a huge scarlet letter on her. The brother-in-law was held harmless, which made her more rebellious. Monica decided to go full-on thong and head to Vicky Secrets and load up on 30 thongs. No more granny panties for Monica!
Mary calls the hotel to find out if they have room service. She does not do places that do not carry Dom. Mary is concerned this is not a hotel but a MOTEL. Ms. Cosby is vetting this place and is not at all impressed.
Heather, while in her bathroom stall, is now filming Lisa lose her shit, but not in the toilet — let me be clear. Lisa has lost her $60k ring, which was a gift from John. She let us know in her ITM that this is a BIG ring with emerald-shaped diamonds. Meredith is being a good friend to Lisa by crawling around on a public restroom floor searching for Lisa’s ring. Heather is enjoying Lisa’s angst by snickering about it in the stall, which is frankly just not nice even though Lisa can be insufferable with her material possessions. She is worried that this is the worst thing that could happen, especially to Lisa who will NEVER shut up about it the entire trip. Mary, in her ITM, questions the value of the ring since it did not look that impressive to her.
Lisa reports her lost ring to security. We find out that Whitney is not traveling with the group because she is dragging her plus one with her — unbeknownst to the other women. Lisa keeps droning on about the ring being such a sentimental piece and she must call her team of 30 lawyers to get advice — just kidding on that one. Mary seems like she just ate a lemon and cannot wait to escape this Sprinter van. She is sick of being in transit with these girls and listening to Lisa whine about her silly bauble and people dropping cheap food crumbs on her.
Whitney knows she is poking the Mer-Bear by bringing Angie to the motel, but she thinks they will all be surprised. Whitney and Angie arrive at the motel first, which reminds me of the Barbie-land in the movie with all the pinkness. She knew Trixie before, and she came to mark her territory, and they get the grand tour from Trixie. She would like the best and biggest room, but she knows the Hostess Mer will be peeved if she takes it. Angie should have brought her dog Celia to this motel since she would have blended in with the scenery and could have floated around the pool on a pink raft!
Meredith, who clearly does not have a mirror in her chalet rental with her outfits this episode, arrives at the pink confection of a hotel. Whitney and Angie see them coming in and cannot wait to surprise them! We will have to wait until next week to see how this plays out. Have a wonderful Wednesday, Blurbers!
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